In Defense of the Kardashians
I love the Kardashians. Okay the truth of it is, I love people. All the people. And I have a pretty low tolerance level for cynicism and hate. When humans speak in a super negative or hateful manner, I have to love them from a distance.
One example of this over the years that has really bothered me is the seemingly universal hatred for the Kardashians. In podcast interviews or casual conversations, from public figures to the everyday people I encounter, people seem to think it's perfectly fine to throw out hatred for this family. And honestly if I focus in on it it's sickening to me. The people making these statements for the most part have never even watched an episode. Me? If I had the time and DVR to make it easy for me I would see every single one, as it stands I've probably seen 75% of the episodes. As I like to say, "I keep up with them."
Kim, Kylie, Kris - they're just people. I realize the show is scripted and there is a lot of acting, but they are also real human beings living their lives. They give birth to real human babies, suffer as loved ones struggle with substance abuse, food addiction, depression, heartbreak and divorce... I have seen enough to appreciate who they are as people and get a feeling for the underlying issues at play. They are imperfect, as all of us are. They are also all essentially good, as all of us are. They feel deep compassion, and love, and struggle with fear and profound grief. And they have the right to live their lives without judgement.
The Kardashians are not deserving of the extreme hate I have witnessed. I watch people make the ugliest twisted faces of disgust at the mention of their names, and hear the worst expletives from their mouths, as if all of the hate inside of them is suddenly pulled out and put on display. Guess what? These feelings are not about the Kardashians. They're about you.
That hate is your shit to own, process and work through. The Kardashians are an innocent target for other people's issues. It's simple projection. You have unprocessed feelings of helplessness, rage and fear trapped inside your body, and these women are the easiest target out there. You are never going to see or speak to them in real life, and they're exposing themselves vulnerably for the public to just seize to hate on. It's the largest public and interactive display of bullying I've ever seen. And as a culture we are just letting it happen.
The issue of hating, judging, blaming and fearing women is the real underlying meaning at play. There is major historic precedence for shunning women who are sexual, and for women to be competitive and hateful of other women. In the old Patriarchal system where men are in power and women have historically been powerless (Not being able to own land, vote, or divorce), all of that seething underlying rage had to be funneled into appropriate channels. Men who took control feared the power of women's sexuality and connection to the Earth and worked to destroy that power and knowledge by demonizing midwives, herbalists and priestesses and murdering them.
We are still recovering from all of this history, truly it is still present as women have to raise their voices still today to say that sexual assault and harassment is not okay. Too many men don't understand the subtle sensitivities of consent and both intentionally and unintentionally behave in disrespectful and invasive ways that traumatize women. Many women still see each other as enemies and competition instead of banding together in sisterhood; this is where being "catty" and statements like "I don't like other women, I only have guy friends," come from.
So pretty please, stop f*king hating on the Kardashians people! Both ladies and gentlemen. I see you. I promise they are not hurting you. That bottled up anger and fear inside is. Get curious about where it's coming from, and what it really means. It's bullying, and we know bullies are mean because they don't feel good inside so they choose to knock someone else down in order to feel better - hurt people hurt. We have some healing to do.